Itś been two years since I updated this blog, itś high time I do so. So, a summary of my year.
January
I started the year off ending one temporary job, and having six weeks off before starting another. I visited my parents in the States. Ultimately ended up NOT starting the job. It was basically due to a gut feel, I was really sad signing the contract. As it turns out, a FANTASTIC decision, as what was going to be a hybrid job turned out to be a 100% in office job (as they advertised again after I ultimately said I would not be starting. So, whew! That would have meant 45+ minutes on the train, then a subway for another 10……….every damn day.
The job I had in 2022 was temporary. I loved my co-workers, they were great! The commute was great (20 minutes). My Manager was fantastic…..But the Company culture was strange and it felt like I was working in a mill for employment contracts. Also, ZERO employee contact. It was just not for me. It was okay, but I was not sad when it ended.
February
Was still in the US until the 11th, flew back again the 28th.
March
Was in the States until the 13th. I was also taking C1 German classes. Ended up not taking the exam.
April
FINALLY got new glasses! Is that yearly summary worthy? Well, kinda…..it took me MONTHS to find ones I liked!
I also flew back to the States on the 29th.
May
I was in the States until the 13th.
We noticed something was wrong with our friend G.
June and July
Not much happened. I was supposed to go to see Springsteen with my husband, but I just didn’t want to go. It was a whole drama thing.
G stopped going out for beers at “our” Döner place. We started bringing him food. He looked, well, awful.
August
On August 17, I got an email that G had been found dead. I screamed. Cried. My husband yelled at me for screaming, and called me dramatic. The fact that I screamed so loudly would actually come up in conversation several times later, including September 9 (more on that date later).
What followed was arguably the most traumatic night of my life.
At some point, the police called and told me I needed to come there.
I don’t even know how they got through, but they did. We have O2, and during that time, our service was out, essentially. Our local lower was damaged, and not functioning. It made the whole thing THAT much worse.
just now writing this, I realized THAT was why his landlord emailed me instead of calling. I had been in contact with him, he lives in the buidling, and is a doctor, so it was easy to get his contact info………since G was sick. He didn’t always answer the door, so the landlord would let me in the building.
It was AWFUL. It was like a movie, a bad, bad movie. When the police tell you not to look at a body, don’t. Just don’t. But, I know, in my mind, how he died. He slipped on a blue plastic bag and hit his head on the stairs.
Unfortunately, at least several days before, and likely a week. He hadn’t answered his door when we went the Saturday prior. I will regret not forcing his landlord to open it for the rest of my life. That said, from how he was lying, I do not believe he ever tried to get up. I 100% believe it was instant, and that if we HAD broken down the door (we had discussed it) or forced the landlord to open it, there would have been nothing we could do.
Not only would it have been more dignified for him, but as traumatic as it would have been, it would have been less so. The sights, the smell….that smell does not leave your nose for days. Days, literally. I made a makeshift Neti pot and was POURING salt water through my nose in an attempt to get the smell out…..like a mad woman. My husband had the same thing, and called the doctor. It seems it is a natural thing, that your brain does to alert you to danger.
But the smell makes you relive the entire thing over and over and over again. It plagues you.
The next days up to the funeral were FULL. He had no family here, we were the closest to him, so there was SOOO much to do. And, coordinating it all with his sister in the US.
Thankfully, his phone code was his birthday (oh, G, really?) and he did a lot of banking, etc. offline, so we could kind of figure out things, but it took time, AND it took going back into his apartment to look for papers.
We went, with 3? I think, masks on, and I DOUSED them in perfume until they were wet. We went with big IKEA blue bags, and just literally grabbed papers. ANYTHING paper, we took.
His funeral was the 25th. We gave him an as close to Jewish as possible funeral, and he is buried as close to the Jewish graveyard as possible.
He was Jewish, but we could not find documentation of his faith. We did the best we could. A friend of ours dreamed of G, and G told him to say “Thank you” to me, and buy me a beer. I believe he is proud of all that I did. I did it ALL for him.
He is soo missed. SOOOO SOOOO much. I cry while writing this, to be honest.
I also got a JOB!
I had to move the start date, due to G’s passing.
September
I started my job! I had been looking for a job, of course, but REALLY looking at a remote job…those are not SO easy to find/get. Mostly due to my going back and forth to the US. And, I got one!
I set my sights on a fully remote job, IN MY FIELD (HR) and I did it!!!!!
I started on the 1st (instead of the scheduled week before), and it has been life-changing. I work really closely with one woman, who is GREAT! I really enjoy working with her! My (our) manager is also really cool.
The flexibility is fucking life-changing. I can literally work whenever I want.
September 9 was life-changing. I’ll just leave that as that.
I had to put “my” cat down. It was heart-wrenching. I miss him soo damn much. He was ill, his blood work was AWFUL, like, some levels should have been let’s say maximum 14, and his were like 414. He was getting transfusions 3x a week, and he was doing really well………still going up and down stairs, still sometimes going outside (which was never his thing, really), and ALWAYS with me. ALWAYS. I was his favorite person. But, the vet mentioned putting him to sleep at every appointment.
One night, he started breathing crazy. There’s no other way to describe it. I thought I had to call the emergency vet, but then he went back to normal. Then, the next day, or the one after that, I forget, I woke up and he was not with me. I KNEW something was really wrong. I ALWAYS woke up with him next to me, or his big eyes in my face, my sweet J. We went to bed together, we work up together. If I went to bed late, he would often wait at the stairs that go to my bedroom, indicating HE was ready for bed.
I found him hiding behind a Schrank, my sweet, sweet J…..and he really didn’t want to come out. His breathing was back to crazy, so I had to make a difficult decision, and I made that decision that day.
It was AWFUL, but I made the best decision for him.
August and September were NOT fun.
September 25th I got the news that my husband was going to a lawyer, and we were starting Trennungsjahr. I asked him not to, that we could make a deal, he refused to speak to me about it.
So, as of September 12 (so says my love letter from the lawyer) we are separated!
I am waiting until the end of my probation period to find an apartment.
October
Nothing of mention, except I went back to the US for what was supposed to be two weeks.
I got another Covid booster….see below for why that was SUCH a great idea.
November
I was in the US (did I mention how I love this new flexibility!!!) for two scheduled weeks, then extended it just because, and to stay through November, and THEN someone came down with a BAD case of Covid, and I extended my trip once again.
They are doing MUCH better, but damn, Covid can HIT! This person had 103.5F/almost 40C fever, and was hospitalized. It was sooo scary, and I am sooo glad they are doing much better!
Some highlights were lunch with my parents, my birthday dinner with one of my oldest friends, going to Barre classes, discovering Lagree classes, seeing my Mom speaking at and leading one of her events, and going out with friends.
Obviously, the whole Covid thing was a lowlight. Much more so for the person who had it.
I am super grateful my job provides the flexibility that it does, and I could stay longer to help out.
Also glad I got my booster in October.
December
I flew back to DE on the 10th. I was supposed to fly the 9th. Good news? I have $2500 flight credit because of the rescheduling!
I had a God awful dentist appointment, and it seems I need a gum cleaning in July. I am soo not happy and have NO idea how this could happen, as I am obsessive about dental hygiene. Good news? Prescription for 10 anti-anxiety pills to be used during that time.
I treated myself to a facial, and it was bliss.
The holidays? We have my step-son today through the 25th. I got tickets to local walking tours on the 25th and 26th. I also plan on working. It’s more “time off” than holidays this year, and that’s fine….because I am tired.
I also still have some G things to do, paperwork wise. I really want to go through all those papers before the end of the year.
Ami in Franken 